Memories bubbling back while sleeping in dreams, I am 41 years old & my parents have passed on, but I still have dreams of arguing with them, tense, frustrating, so it tells me there are many unresolved issues deep under the hood of my consciousness. Perhaps all these years I was trying to escape these memories. I know there are other memories of my childhood that I also block & do not want to relive, of being abused.
Suburbia can be very lonely for children, no other kids nearby of the same age to play with. Or in my case my only neighbor was Matt Mayo, similar in age, but he was wild & crazy when I was more serene & patient, almost exacts opposites, we met when I was 3 & he was 4, on Saturday morning I was sitting on the floor near the glass slider when I look up to see Matt peeing on the outside of the glass, that was our first encounter as very young boys. He lived diagonally across the backyard, a sand box & swing set in-between with some nature, a creek too, birds & small animals like squirrels & raccoons, lots of birds of many kinds. I have a huge trove of memories from these precious years from age 3 to 9, being friends with Matt & wondering why he was so wild & crazy. My older sister was 7.5 years older so by the time I was in 5th grade she already moved out to her own apparent. We are no longer on speaking terms sadly, after out mom died & I gave her half the money from the estate, a few weeks later she told me to fuck off & die. Matt killed himself high on cocaine a few years earlier, his father Rob never invited me to Matt's funeral afraid that Matt & I were secrete gay lovers which was never true. At the Time Meg & I were living in one of Matt's rental houses.
A 3 grade 8 year old girl named AK says to me "I like being at school with my friends, going home sucks, its not only boring, there is no one in my neighborhood to play with" and AB a 8 year old 2nd grader, her best friend lives 40 minutes walking distance away. "Sometimes our parents will drive us either her to our our house or me to her house, but it rarely happens, I mostly see her at school, during recess, and during after school activities. I met AK 2 years ago when she was riding on one of the other bus routes. As a result she is prone to talking to me about life, I ask her simple appropriate questions about her happiness & wellness, and that is when she told me about feeling isolated in suburbia. When I was a teen boy I felt the same way, no children nearby, all the neighbors were older people, like I am today at age 41 without children. Obviously people are always being born & dying, so people alive are stuck in the middle, like you and I. The way people are distributed in suburbia affected by many factors, but housing nearby so expensive that young families cannot normally afford the multimillion dollar homes anymore. These same homes sold when I was a little boy for 20X less money or were affordable houses in suburban neighborhoods nearby. This is also known as gentrification. Along with currency inflation, the price of food, fuel, & lives basics on the rise, WWIII looming, the US economy about to take a fat dump, the prospect looks even more bleak.
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