Don't Give Up, I was suicidal, hated myself and other people and was a horrible person, before God saved me

 Watch this https://youtu.be/ZeBv9r92VQ0?si=EKce3MYVus3En4xS

After reading the Bible twice, I started to love myself in a reasonable way, and started having a platonic concern for the wellness of all other people, animals and nature, a complete 180 so profound that people that I work with IRL asked me if I had a makeover because of how it visibly remade me in a godly honorable way so that I am much higher functioning now, happier, without depression or anxiety and sleep better, am stronger, smarter, and feel better nearly all the time now. They say I look happier, brighter, smiling, kinder, speak less, listen more, am more polite, and kinder, and give off a loving vibe of encouraging brightness as I stop and randomly pray for people at work with them after asking them if it is ok if I pray over them a blessing and every single person I have asked not only said yes, their eyes watered up and the smile and thanked me sincerely afterwards. Most asked me why I did that or what motivated me to pray a blessing over them? I tell them it is not me, but the spirit of God, the Holy Spirit in me, that told me and I obey as to the obedience of Christ Jesus, especially if I do not feel like it. It's not about me, other people are more important. If to be first is to be last and to be last is to be first, then I don't mind waiting a bit for someone else's benefit. 

I like this one too https://youtu.be/tzuYj7-KlAQ?si=aQ55CrI5V9ToxyIA